Well, chalk one up again for the Amazing Race internet spoiler. The entire All-Stars leg-by-leg elimination roster posted online months ago, sadly, as well as the ultimate Final Three winners. Hello, time to invest in some sort of post-production security or ritual beheadings. And where were the ratings? All-Stars couldn't even beat the Neilsen numbers held by the series bastard-child The Amazing Race: Family Edition. And everyone was told to hate that show!

By David W. Taylor (Email The Author)
Reality Reel Media
05.10.07

I suppose Eric & Danielle deserved to win. They persevered through a rude deplaning, never winning a leg, missed connections, Yields, being Marked For Elimination and, yes, each other...and they were the only All Stars team to match answers at the final gauntlet before the Pitstop in loony San Francisco. And, of course, Danielle squeezed out the most prayers to God during her and Eric's wild taxi ride to the Botanical Gardens. That's huge.

Eric & Danielle were nowhere near a favored team of mine...Eric always seemed a little too smooth and cocky for my taste; he frequently appeared half-bored when Racing; his emotionless, ever-present cool-guy grin and none-too-clever wisecracks, I gather, a signpost to his generational dude-ness. His gaudy nipple-rings merely a sour footnote.

I mean, like, Eric's journey was summed-up well during his masterfully executed Pitstop cell phone call to his "family" after winning the million dollar prize. His 'bro from Season Nine, Jeremy, answers the ringtone and goes into this silly repartee: "Yeaha, Yeaha...I'm rich, bee-atch...I'm lovin' it...I'm taking it in right now...I'm going to give you some spankings when you get home..." Thank goodness I didn't miss that. The lyrical poignancy of Season One's stunning finale a rapidly fading dream.

Danielle appeared, on the other hand, a lot more fully capable of serious grit and hustle during the Race but then her annoying penchant for showing off her gorgeous body makes one wonder if she owns any piece of clothing that isn't a pair of leggings or a blouse without a deep cleavage dip?

You witness this and one can't help but remember Hayden from Season Six and her constant reliance on letting others view her ample breasts. It is always is a bit awkward, I think, to see some sexy American female run up to Phil and some local spokesperson in a desperate third world country and having your boobs hanging out. It's just disrespectful. In some ways it merely flaunts America's cloddish preoccupation with overt in-your-face sexuality and Jerry Springer-like sensationalism — and here doing so for one million dollars! I mean, really, have some class. Stop trying to get the attention of every producer in Hollywood. At least not every leg...

You've got to give it to Dustin & Kandice and Charla & Mirna too. Gosh, five females among the Final Three Teams. That's impressive. I actually had to refrain from choking-up when I saw Charla struggling to run hand-in-hand with Mirna towards Phil and the final Pitstop. Despite the simmering discomfort I feel whenever I witness these two bellowing at each other, one cannot be but admiring of Charla and what effort it must take to Race around a taller world. And what utter patience and love Mirna must possess to stick steadfast with her much shorter, inelegant, and sometimes slower, cousin.