As America’s Next Top Model finale began, the stories of Natasha, Jaslene, and Renee were summarized and we were finally shown a photo of Natasha with her child and husband (who doesn’t look that old). He does exist!

By Elizabeth Weiss McGolerick
Reality Reel Media
05.18.07

But there were more important things to worry about. The girls prepared for their Cover Girl commercial and print ad – the most normal photo shoot of the entire season. Dewy-fresh and demurely happy, the girls-so-hungry-for-the-title-they-can-taste-it, had to ad-lib their individual, “My Life as a Cover Girl” commercial. Caridee (last season’s winner) suddenly appeared to offer a little advice: “Don’t over-think today. Just be your true selves. And I’m so glad I’m not you right now.” She looked great, like a real model, but us fans still remember her as our favorite dizzy blonde.

Natasha prepped for her commercial by writing out a script but J. made her toss it once she began because it sounded like she was reciting a grocery list. Renee was on a boat in the Sydney Harbor and started off talking about how she had a baby nine months ago and thought her life was over. J. stopped that pretty quickly too and the girl really nailed it afterwards, even ending with an unprompted “I feel easy, breezy, and beautiful.” Jaslene started her commercial a little flat and J. instructed, “I need Cha Cha to come forward.” So she speckled her speech with Spanish and got rave reviews from J.

Before the photo shoot, Caridee taught Natasha how to elongate her neck. Jim De Yonker, the photographer, said Natasha struggled with her smiles. Jaslene herself said it’s hard to smile that much without your lips shaking. Renee shared that she and her sister used to practice the Cover Girl wink. She was great but, like everyone else, the photographer said Renee looked older than the other girls and almost too mature to be starting off in the modeling industry.

The first elimination arrived and Renee said she didn’t want to share the final runway with Natasha because, “She walks like a pigeon-toed duck with a piece of poop hangin’ out of her ass.” Classy.

At any rate, Jaslene warned that you have to expect the unexpected at panel … though we all know to expect Ms. J. to be looking like a clown, wearing a ruffle for every girl who has been eliminated from the competition. Tyra was looking pretty normal for once.

As they showed the girls’ commercials, Natasha had some stumbling but Nigel said her imperfections are often what make her beautiful. Tyra thought it was genius that Jaslene added Spanish to her commercial but her delivery left a little to be desired. It was a consensus that Renee genuinely captured the excitement of a Cover Girl commercial.

The photos were a toss-up. Natasha’s was ok but it’s definitely not the best Cover Girl shot I’ve ever seen. She does, however, have the right kind of lips to be selling lip color. Jaslene’s photo, for one of the first times, didn’t show evidence of her square jaw. The judges agreed that she looked a little less comfortable in a commercial shot than in high fashion. Throughout Renee’s film, Tyra said, she looked the most comfortable of all the girls. But … as usual, her sophisticated and mature look was a little disconcerting to all. Tyra told her to be careful of getting too much sun to avoid puffiness and wrinkles (all young ladies, take note of that one, seriously).

In person, Renee looked tall and stunning. As the judges deliberated they noted that she had the height and body but the other two girls had the faces and the oomph. Right now I’m pulling for Jaslene. The two finalists will head to a Seventeen magazine cover shoot and stomp the runway in a sass & bide fashion show.