Well, kids. Here I am. Back to comment for yet another season. Enemies I will make, truths I will tell, and due to the fact that Arianne is busy studying the law, judgments I will make alone. Fear not, she will be making the occasional appeaence.to lend her new legal expertise. And believe me, with the current motley crew of characters, there are plenty of laws being broken. The laws of attraction, fashion, style and social etiquette are just a few.


Aaron And Arianne Exclusive Commentary
Reality Reel Media
11.19.04

Aaron

First episodes are hard to judge. Too many people, too much commotion and too little to go on. Here are some first impressions on an episode that didn’t thrill me. Let’s face it; the star of this one was Iceland. It was more interesting than anything or anyone else. That being said, let’s get to the teams in the order they arrived at Phil’s sun-worn face.

Hayden and Aaron: I was worried that my reign as the only Aaron on TAR was finally over until I realized that this team prefers to call each other “Baby.” All the time. “Run baby.” “Come on baby.” “You did it baby.” Baby, baby, baby. Shut up, BABY! They were consistent and finished first. All I know is there was a time when production urged us not to push that we were actors. Cocktail waitress and preschool teacher anyone? Now, every other team is actors or models. Come on CBS, can’t you find interesting people who are not competing for a million bucks and a TV contract. Hate to break it to ya kids, but even with the high ratings, TAR does not lead to 3 picture deals with Miramax.

Kris and Jon: Long distance lovers. That’s all I have in my notes. Not too thrilling a team so far, but young and attractive. CBS loves that. So does America. I’m sure they’ll last awhile. Oh and PS, guys: California an Arizona are not that long distance. In fact, they’re neighbors. Since when did 20 miles constitute long distance? Let’s not milk it.

Lena and Kristy: They’re Mormon. And guess what guys, they’re also models. One is wild. One is pure. But together I bet they’ll disgrace a religion and make sure to get a lot of camera time praying, posing and pissing each other off. And me too.